Help! I didn’t accomplish most of my goals last year. How can I improve in 2023?

Dear Friend,

I didn’t achieve most of my New Year’s resolutions for 2022 and I am quite disappointed in myself. How I can improve this year?

Signed, Disappointed

Dear Disappointed,

First off: it’s perfectly normal not to achieve your New Year’s resolutions – in fact, most people do not – so please don’t be too hard on yourself. Also, keep in mind that 2022 was a tough year for Hong Kong; the fifth wave of Covid-19 hit the city pretty hard, and you were probably doing online or half-day learning for most of the year, so try to cut yourself some slack!

It is understandable to feel frustrated when things fall short of expectations, but do not let disappointment undermine your passion for growth. Here are a few things that can help you cope with setbacks:

Examine your previous goals

Review your previous resolutions. Ask yourself: what derailed your plans? Why weren’t you able to achieve your goals? Were there any signs that you would have trouble reaching these goals along the way? Really look at the whole process.

Make sure you’re setting SMART goals: they need to be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely. Try to identify any barriers that got in your way last year – are these obstacles you can remove yourself? If so, how? If not, how can you work around them?

Focus on what you learned and did do

You said you accomplished a few things on your list, so look at those achievements and reflect on them. For example, maybe one goal you followed through on was to join an after-school club. Think about all the things you’ve learned from being in that club and its positive impact on you. Did you make more friends or practise a language? If you like, you can write down all these positive outcomes: seeing them written down can show you just how much you did.

You can also think about other things you accomplished last year that weren’t on your list. Perhaps you learned to play a new piece of music or got full marks on an exam. Write those down too! We think you’ll find that you actually did a lot last year – you just did not realise it at the time.

Adjust your goals for 2023

Take a look at the things you want to accomplish this year. Make sure you’re not giving yourself unrealistic targets or trying to do too much at once. It may help to break your big goals into smaller ones, making them feel more reachable.

Give yourself deadlines for these mini-goals and evaluate your progress along the way – you may end up realising that you have changed your mind and don’t want to work on that goal any more or that something else has become more important.

Finally, track every little success you have on the way to achieving these targets; it will boost your confidence and help you see your progress in real-time.

You’ve got this, Friend of a Friend