Help! How do I handle grief after the death of my mother?

Dear Friend,

My mum passed away suddenly. I am depressed. I miss her so much. How do I face the death of a loved one?

Signed, Grieving

Dear Grieving,

Please accept our deepest condolences for your loss. We’re so sorry you are going through this difficult time.

Grief always involves complicated thoughts and feelings, including sadness, fear, anger, guilt, and frustration.

You may feel overwhelmed right now, which is perfectly normal for your situation. There is no right or wrong way to navigate your grief. Instead, be aware of your feelings and accept that you need to go through these emotions on your way to a healthy recovery. The sorrow usually remains for a while and then slowly fades out, and there is no need to force yourself back to normal. So take your time to adjust and recover.

In the meantime, here are some helping notes:

Go through your grief

– Maintain a healthy routine: ensure you’re well-rested and follow a balanced diet. Engage in regular exercise and avoid smoking, alcohol or any substance abuse. Take good care of your physical health.

– Take extra time to relax, on your own or with your friends. You can journal or create art to express your feelings; if you try to hold them in, you could cause more damage to your mental and physical health in the long run.

– Think about the good memories you have of your mother. You could write her a letter of gratitude, pray (if you believe in God or a higher power) or do something that the two of you used to do together.

One local funeral director shares the lessons he’s learned about life and death

Get support

It is OK to spend some time alone for a while when you feel sad. However, please remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your close friends, family, or other trusted people – they want to be there for you! If you need further advice, please seek help from a professional, such as a social worker, counsellor or psychologist.

Grief comes and goes – it’s not something a person simply “gets over”. Instead, it’s something you learn to live with. The sadness you feel reflects the deep connection and love between you and your mother – and that love will never go away.

Sincerely, Friend of a Friend