Help! I’m jealous of other people’s happy families. What should I do?

Dear Friend,

I do not come from a nice, ordinary family. My father left us, and my mother has mental health problems. So whenever my friends share their warm family experiences, I cannot help but feel envy and discontent. I do not want to be a buzzkill and share my frustrations. What should I do?

Sincerely, Different Circumstances

Dear Different,

It is not easy to cope with a complex family dynamic, especially when you see others who have what you feel you lack. Here are some steps you can take that might help:

Admit how you feel

It is understandable for you to be upset. Do not suppress your feelings – acknowledging them is the first step to addressing the situation.

Confide in people you trust

Reach out to someone you can count on, like a trusted teacher, a thoughtful friend or even an extended relative who might be familiar with the situation. These people might even have navigated something similar and understand what you are experiencing. And a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved; it will bring relief.

Establish small goals

Come up with simple, specific and attainable goals that you can try to achieve one by one. This is important as it will help you recapture your ambition, determination, persistence and zest for life. Stay motivated by acknowledging each goal you accomplish.

Build a healthy routine

Try to be productive. Developing a range of hobbies and taking part in physical activities will help your well-being, including your mental health. A new endeavour could ease stress, inspire personal development and expose you to diverse perspectives.

Comparison is the thief of joy

It is normal to compare yourself to others. But try to refrain from doing so. Constantly looking at what you feel others have – that you do not – will trigger negative emotions and distress. Remember: each of us has our own distinct journey. Try to focus on your path.

Practise gratitude

Consider keeping a journal to jot down what you are grateful for and the moments where you are happy. Practising gratitude can help you recognise what you do have, as well as help you reclaim happiness.

Look for a professional

If you have tried everything you can but continue to feel overwhelmed, it might be time to seek professional help from an expert. A therapist or counsellor is a good start; they can give you coping strategies and teach you how to regulate your emotions.

It is not easy to be where you are, but you have taken the first step forward – asking for help.

Sending love, Friend of a Friend

Source: Young Post